How to Deal With Unhealthy Comparisons

Hello lovelies! Happy Royal Wedding weekend. I’ve just seen all the cast from my favourite TV show (Suits) witness one of their own get married to Prince Harry. My heart is so full! However, trust the media to begin comparing Meghan Markle to Kate Middleton, with stitched photos side by side asking who’s dress was better? Who do we prefer? I mean! Its her wedding day! Can we let her live and shine? There were even photos of Prince William and Harry’s wedding looks asking what we preferred or which first kiss was better. Its really sad and unconsciously, we have probably all indulged these ridiculous pages.

In my opinion, the only thing worse than comparing yourself to others is others comparing you to someone else. Its bad enough that as humans, we must deal with our own insecurities within ourselves but to have to deal with it from family, friends or even a partner is simply unhealthy. For this post, I’m going to focus on how to overcome comparing yourself to others, especially in the blogosphere. In my first year of blogging, I literally watched certain bloggers constantly comparing and contrasting and I can quite easily tell you nothing good ever comes from that. I’ve broken down the ways to overcome unhealthy comparisons into three points below:

Build Your Self Confidence

Cliche but its the first step you have to take. I totally gas myself up when no one’s looking, not because i’m self-obsessed or think i’m the best thing since sliced bread, but because if I don’t, who will? If I don’t love every atom of me, who will? For the longest time, I was super conscious of how skinny I am and still occasionally am but I’ve been this way for 25 years and have learnt that its simply not going to change. I’ve learned to embrace it, my full lips, my wide forehead, everything! Because they are what make me who I am. I’ve learned to wear what works for my figure, lipsticks that flatter the fullness of my lips and hairstyles that suit the shape of my face. On the flip side, I try to accentuate my strengths in all aspects of my life. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, more fashionable etc. than you and that’s just the truth. When you become fully comfortable in your own skin, what the next person looks like or is achieving becomes irrelevant to you.

Immunity to Negativity

When your self confidence is on a ‘hunnid’, the next hurdle is to completely switch off on negativity. Now this one I’m still working on but even when it doesn’t bother me, theres a little voice that keeps repeating it until it does. No I’m not crazy lol. If you find yourself sinking, remind yourself of some of your greatest achievements and if its with regards to your physical appearance, do something that makes you happy and feel beautiful e.g. get a mani/pedi, get properly dolled up, take yourself out or if you’re like me – order bare food lol.

Run Your Race at Your Own Pace

Everyone’s race is different. If you can let this sink in or write it where you can see it everyday, it will make a huge difference. As I mentioned in the building self confidence point, I try to accentuate my strengths and I’d like to think that’s what everyone else does. I can’t tell you the amount of times where I beat myself up about not achieving certain goals within the timeframe I’ve made in my head but come on Instagram and act like I’m having the best time ever. Or when the Instagram algorithm messes with my feelings? My BFF suffers this the most lol but you’d never know because I only show you my highlights really. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors or how long the other person has been working for as you just might be comparing 5 years of handwork to your 1 year. There are certainly people who develop faster than others and your 5 years of work could equal someone else’s 1 year but one thing is for sure; when your time has come, nothing.. absolutely nothing can stop your blessings. So chin up darling, smile through it all and trust the process.


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Photos: Jamie Adeogunwoye

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11 Comments

  1. Jenny
    May 21, 2018 / 9:51 pm

    Great post!!! I really am inspired. Thank you.

  2. AK
    May 22, 2018 / 6:37 am

    Needed this πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘ŒπŸΎ
    You are killing it babe 😍😍😘😘
    Love, co-member of the forehead gang

  3. May 22, 2018 / 7:52 am

    Thanks for sharing! We all have insecurities but we need to focus on our strengths.

  4. Olaitan
    May 22, 2018 / 8:22 am

    Absolutely loved reading this.thank you Alex!

  5. dee
    May 22, 2018 / 9:13 am

    Thank you. I really needed this.

  6. Apple
    May 22, 2018 / 5:14 pm

    Lovely article!!!

  7. Peobelucci
    May 22, 2018 / 5:21 pm

    Tosin! This was a brilliant read! Thanks for sharing! I’m totally inspired

  8. joy
    May 22, 2018 / 5:38 pm

    Aw I love this, Tosin! I’m s guilty of comparing myself – I will definitely use these three points whenever I find myself looking at the next person. You’re an inspiration!

  9. Security Expert
    May 22, 2018 / 8:12 pm

    Thanks for the pointers Tosin. Fully inspired.

  10. May 23, 2018 / 8:47 am

    Running your race at your own pace is very important. You stop using other people’s achievement to weigh yours & you realize how far you’ve come and where God is still taking you to. Great post! And of course, cuteeeee dress!
    http://www.wumituase.com

  11. June 26, 2018 / 12:46 pm

    Thank you for this, very inspiring. I so love your last point.

Let me know what you think! x